Saturday Morning
Today, my mom and I have made plans to go to the mall. She’s had some birthday money for about a month and this is the first time she’s been motivated to go shopping. She’s looking for a very specific thing…a red top, not just any red top…it has to be one that will match a certain red necklace and go with a certain gray suit.
I am resistant to the whole idea…I know from past experience that shopping for just one particular thing can be SO frustrating, like looking for a needle in a haystack. Not to mention that it is a hot, humid Texas
I read this quote last week….
“The things that Jesus did were of the most menial and commonplace order (referring to the time He washed His disciple’s feet) and this is an indication that it takes all God's power in me to do the most commonplace things in His way.” Oswald Chambers
Most definitely, shopping is one of those ‘menial and commonplace’ things that I need all of God’s power in me to do His way…I get this in my head, but do I really understand it in my heart?
Tuesday Morning
It’s taken me three days to process through the events of Saturday. I needed to hear from the Lord first, before I shared anything…to get His perspective...
Our little shopping spree definitely got off to a rough start… In fact it began every bit as frustrating as I had anticipated; we left late; the weather was miserable; the mall parking lot was packed…I forgot to grab the handicap placard, so I had to push my mom in her wheelchair to and from our parking space located a million miles away from the entrance.. The mall was so crowded that we ended up only going to two stores. As I wheeled my mom up and down over-stuffed isles, my eyes (on which my mother’s completely depend) scanned countless racks for any possible hint of red. We had a goal and I was fixed on it. Success for that day had only one definition – the perfect red top! But for all my efforts, it was a fruitless endeavor. We finally gave up and headed for the opposite side of town in hopes of less crowds and better results. We must have looked like two chickens...one crippled...with our heads cut off! And that would not have been too far from the truth...
The hardest part was the battle between my stubborn flesh and the Spirit that raged every step of the way…which I’m sure had everything to do with ignoring all morning that ‘still small voice’ calling me to surrender my resistant heart to the Lord BEFORE leaving the house…
On the third or fourth time loading the wheelchair into the trunk…sweaty, miserable and tired…patience worn thin, still no success and a couple of stops left to make…I finally broke down. For the first time that day I found myself once again at the foot of the cross…what a long and weary journey avoiding Calvary Road turned out to be! Hiding my face behind the lid, I tearfully whispered, “Lord, I’m so done!”
At once, I began to understand what ‘His way’ really meant…little by little, in light of His grace and mercy things started to make sense and finally today I can verbalize it…
Thus says the LORD, who makes a way in the sea and a path through the mighty waters… Isaiah 43:16
God’s ‘way’ is through the sea…God’s way is to take ordinary things and accomplish them in extraordinary ways. There actually was a more direct and less cumbersome route from Egypt to Canaan than the Red Sea , but this was God’s way. Why this way? Because it was impossible for the Israelites to go it alone; they absolutely needed God to part the Red Sea so they could pass through to freedom on the other side. They also needed Him to bring the walls of water crashing down on their enemies at the perfect moment. They had to trust Him every step of the way. They had to walk by FAITH and not by sight.
God’s way for me to shop on Saturday was to lead me to the Red Sea or Red Top in this case :-) to teach me to trust Him in all things great and small...which for some reason is so much harder...for the purpose of delivering me from the bondage of my flesh into the freedom of His Spirit while defeating my foes at the same time. I had left my house on Saturday still in my pride…resistant yet stubbornly determined to succeed…to do my duty because that’s what I ‘had to do’. I was going to swim that Red Sea if it was the last thing I did! I was not trusting in God’s power to do His will, and I was not walking, or in this case shopping, by faith, no…I was totally shopping by sight…according to the flesh instead of the Spirit.
In His kindness, the Lord led me to that moment of repentance behind the lid of my trunk where I could see my need, receive mercy and find grace at last. God was leading, now I would follow. I knew in an instant where to go...where to find the red top. There was even ‘a sense’ that I would not have to hunt down every red garment in the store, but that the right one would be in plain view the moment we walked in the door. With new hope, strengthen faith and fresh energy we headed to the store. There hanging right on one of the front racks was the perfect red top in all its fashion glory! So certain we were of its perfectness, that my mom bought it without even trying it on!
As perfect a gift as that red top turned out to be for my mother, it does not hold a candle to the perfect gift the Lord gave to me that day…another glimpse of His glory to bolster my feeble faith! Oh, how vast and rich is God’s mercy…to be so kind to undeserving souls... How patient He is to let me go my own way, get stuck in my own mess, then use the very trials I brought on myself to refine my faith in desperately needed ways! And how sufficient is His grace to perfect His power in me through my weakness! Oh what lengths He goes to show me His unfailing love!
All for Jesus,
Sheila
Sheila
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