A Tribute to My Mother

“Maureen...had such a soft way about her. Her kindness and smile always touched my heart. That is the reason I named my daughter 'Maureen'…”

“She was a beautiful person inside and out.” 

“Maureen was such a blessing…”

“…she was not only my favorite neighbor but a wonderful sister in the Lord. She let Jesus shine through her in a special way. Jesus was waiting for her at heavens door and I can hear Him say come in my faithful servant…we will always be thankful for her kindness and service towards us at Bishop…opening her Home to hold Bible studies and share her faith with her neighbors.We will always have such fond memories of your mom it was such a special time for all of us when we were up in Bishop.” 

“It broke my heart to learn that I could not have more days with her…she was…a charming bright lady…I was so looking forward to seeing her…”

“She was a joy to be around…a blessing in my life that I will cherish always.”

“It was a true blessing to be able to meet Maureen”

“She was a special lady, whose kindness and smile I will…miss.”

“News of her passing brought deep sadness to me…she will be deeply missed…Maureen, has always been my friend and my inspiration and like no one else seemed to understand (marriage difficulties) …she encouraged me, loved and supported me…”

It’s obvious from the things shared above that my mother was known by others to be a woman of stellar character, kind spirit and loving heart.  From my own perspective she was the best mother in the world.  In her I found comfort, love and security…she was my confidant and my best friend.  She was also one of the most other-centered people I’ve ever known.  

My mom was all this and much more, despite the fact that she had anything but a carefree, easy life…no…in fact…the word ‘turbulent' is a lot more accurate.  But instead of defeat, she found victory in the midst of her trials and tribulations because they drove her to the foot of the Cross...to her Savior, Jesus Christ.  They became the tools God used to refine and test her faith and shape her character into His image.  By far Mom’s last month was the worst, as far as trials and tribulations go, yet in the midst of extreme physical pain and mental anguish, she still managed to reach out to others offering words of encouragement and hope in the faithfulness of God.

 

My mother's sense of humor was one of her finest qualities, something I really only began to appreciate after the stroke that left her debilitated four years ago.  I loved how she always made herself the brunt of her humor.  She was my hero.  I long for that quality in my life…I have a loooooong way to go…just ask my kids…they’ll tell you “humor” skipped a generation…they may be right...because I'm about to get very serious.

Like I said, the last month of Mom’s life was the worst and many times I found myself asking that infamous question, “WHY?”   Of course comforting answers from scripture reminded me that “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” …that we don’t need to lose heart when our outward man is perishing because our inward man is being renewed day by day. “For our light affliction which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory…”  If these words are true and I believe they are with all my heart…because it’s God’s WORD…they’re His promises… then my mom shines bright with God’s glory at this very moment…and one day we will all see it and everything she went through in this life will finally make sense.

I forget which brother said it, but at one point during her last few weeks on earth the thought was communicated that maybe it wasn’t just about Mom…maybe those of us who were privileged to be with her in the end had something to learn from all this.  That got my mind running in a new direction…instead of asking, “Why?” I started asking, “What?”  “What do You want me to learn from this Lord?”

This is what I came away with…three things...

1.  At the end of our lives stuff doesn’t matter, success doesn’t matter, bank accounts don’t matter but LOVE matters…how we love others really matters…that was the only thing that caused my mom any angst in the end. She wondered if she had loved well enough.

2. The second thing I learned was not really new but definitely reinforced by watching my mom’s end of life process. That is…no one can ever be ‘good enough’ for heaven.  If anyone could have been my mom would have been…she stood heads above the crowd in all the things that really mattered.   I’d heard that its normal during the dying process to take inventory of one's life. Well I’m here to tell you that for my mom that became a very messy process.  She was racked with feelings of inadequacy and despair that she had fallen terribly short…that she had failed as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister…  Ironically the very thing she had excelled at…loving others…she thought she’d failed miserably.  I believe that in her final hours, my mother was given glimpses of God’s magnificent perfection…His GLORY…His love…  In light of that, she saw the true condition of her heart in ways she’d never seen it before...she saw that perfection is the requirement; nothing short of it will stand before the throne of God.  She realized her account came up terribly short…she was in debt…spiritually speaking…in every way and she knew it.  She would say things like, “I’m not worthy, I’m not ready; I don’t deserve heaven.”

Now you might be thinking…well this is not very encouraging...if someone like your mom felt that way where does that leave someone like me? 

But wait a minute… I have good news…the same good news we continually reminded Mom of when physical pain and mental misery got the best of her…the same good news that calmed her weary soul over and over again, settling her mind and giving her great peace; the same good news that gave me courage and hope to walk with her to the end…and the same good news I pray each of us will remember at the end of our lives…

The Good News is…Jesus paid it all!  We owe a debt we can not possibly pay… He paid the debt He did not owe.  

God says the wages (debt) of sin is death, but the free gift of God in eternal life in Christ Jesus…  “He who knew no sin became sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”  Jesus Christ’s death on the cross; paid the price for our sin; reconciled us back to God…basically set our account strait.  God also says that if through Jesus’ death we are reconciled to Him, how much more are we saved by His life…His resurrected LIFE…granted freely to all who believe!

By God’s account we all fall short of His glory…His perfection…a quick run down the list of His ten commandments is enough to prove that fact… And if we don’t realize this today, I can almost guarantee that we will before we depart from planet earth… 

At that point how shall we respond?  There are only two possibilities…we can deceive ourselves into thinking we are righteous enough…good enough... or we can accept the fact that not only are we not good enough but whatever “righteousness” we’ve tried produce looks like filthy rags compared to God’s standard of perfection. 

Jesus talks about these two different groups of people in the gospels.  He told the story of two men who came to present their gifts before the altar…one a Pharisee…one a lowly tax collector.  The Pharisee convinced of his own righteousness, came in all high and mighty talking to himself about how good he was.  He prayed, “Oh God I thank you that I’m not like other men…extortioners, unjust, adulterers…even this tax collector…I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all I possess.”  Meanwhile the tax collector stood afar off, and would not so much as lift his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast saying, “God, be merciful to me a sinner!”  That was my mom…she was like that tax collector…the one Jesus commended, saying he was justified rather than the Pharisee. 
   

Jesus also talked about a group of people that will come to Him in the end saying, “Lord, Lord” but shall not enter the kingdom of Heaven, because they did not do His Father’s will. Apparently, MANY will try to hold up a list of all the good things they did in Jesus name (their credentials so to speak)…How they prophesied, cast out demons, and did many other wonderful things…and He will declare to them, “I never knew you!  Depart from Me…” 


It is definitely not the Father’s will that we consider our good works the reason we deserve heaven.  It’s insulting to blood of His Son...

3.  Which brings me to the last thing I learned at my mother’s bedside.  I now have a new understanding of the Father’s heart as He watched His Son suffer and die upon the cross.  Many times I would have rather switched places with my mom than to have watched her agony.  I believe the heartbreak of watching a loved-one suffer is far beyond any other pain.  I believe that’s what the Father felt as gave up His only begotten Son for us…He felt His own heartbreak.  Why would He willingly subject Himself to that?  The Bible says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”  Why did He do it? He did it all for LOVE…love SO amazing…indescribable, incomparable, unconditional LOVE!  The same love that my mom is basking in at this very moment!   


My prayer for all of us today is that we would be able to comprehend that love…to know...to experience...the width and length and depth and height of it...the love of Christ that passes all understanding.