Oh the Wonderful Cross!

September 13, 2010




Yesterday at church, we began a new study in the Book of Galatians. The first message in the series was entitled “The Cross Delivers from Sin".  As I sat listening to our Pastor’s exposition of Galatians 1:3-4, “Grace to you and peace from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father," I started thinking about the oppressive circumstances of my daily existence and suddenly became overwhelmed with a sense of utter hopelessness. As a 30 year believer in Jesus Christ, who has not only heard, but found strength in these words or words like them in countless times past, I was shocked to discover at that moment, that I could not grasp their meaning or see how they applied to my current situation.



Just a little background… In February, my 84 year old mother came to live with me and my husband in our cozy little home in Flower Mound, Texas. Once a vital, energetic and active member of her community, my mom is now restricted to a sedentary life, in a new town, living far from friends, while suffering daily with the side-effects of multiple strokes and macular degeneration.



Two years ago, when it became apparent that Mom was no longer able to live alone, my sister invited her to live in Las Cruses, New Mexico with her.  That lasted about 11 months... At a point of utter exasperation, my sister called me with a desperate plea to take Mom off her hands. The truth is I would have taken my mother from the beginning, but our empty-nester life had been turned upside down by the recent real estate crash in California.  We were unsettled and caught in the process of figuring out our next step, which ultimately would lead us to relocate in Texas. Assuming my mom was settled for the rest of her life with my sister, we moved into an affordable home…a little 3/2 house, comfortable enough for the two of us and room enough for the occasional guests we hoped would arrive in droves.  Even though we have one daughter and her family living here in Texas, we left behind our 3 other kids and their families in California….but that’s a whole other story to be shared another day…



In a nut shell, most days I’m blessed have my mom living with me and I am grateful to help and give back to her some of what she gave to me. She was a wonderful mother, who dedicated her life to loving and caring for her own family. She and I have always had a great relationship…we share a mutual faith, open communication and like-minded values, but she has entered into a new season of her life and as a result, so have I. In this new season we find our relationship challenged in new and unexpected ways. Her life was dramatically altered over the last four years, ending up in a place she never anticipated nor would have chosen for herself, and so naturally she struggles with acceptance. My life has been dramatically altered as well over the last 4 years, and I too have ended up in a place that I had never anticipated, nor would have chosen for myself.  I am also struggling with acceptance…great combination, huh? What is God thinking? Well, we know His thoughts are not like ours at all...



Mom has good days and bad days…and last week, which led up to my Sunday morning ‘crash and burn’ was one bad day all week! Lack of sleep and constant pain made Mom’s reality unbearable for her and in turn became my burden to bear. Mentally, I toyed with the ‘what ifs’, physically I battled with inertia, and spiritually I was oppressed. My flesh headed down the road it always does with self-pity, discontentment and murmuring paving the way. And I, like a fool, jumped on board for the ride which of course ended in the same place it always does...a pit of miry clay... Will I ever learn?



By Sunday morning I was exhausted and weary, wondering how in the world, the Cross of Jesus Christ could possibly deliver me out of this “present evil age”. Even just thinking about going home filled me with dread...the oppressiveness of my mother’s burdens, coupled with my inability to make things better for her seemed overwhelming and so wrong! Sadly with no possibility of circumstances changing in the near future, my faith waned in the One who suffered the Cross to deliver me from evil.  I could see no way out.



In that moment, I broke. My heart burst open, my eyes welled up, and a silent cry for help emanated deep within. Then in the flash, I understood something I’d failed to recognize in all the misery of the week before. Like a lightening bolt, the truth pierced my heart, penetrating clouds of confusion and despair and finding its way into that broken, fertile ground. I suddenly understood that the difficult circumstances are not the ‘present evil’ I need to be delivered from. The evil from which I need to be delivered is my selfish, unloving attitude…my sin - the evil that “is present with me.” With this realization, came the understanding that as helpless as I am to change my circumstances, I am equally as helpless to change my reactions to them. I can try and try all day long to change myself but I will always fail.  So now what?



Blessed relief!  It happened... He brought me up out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay and set my feet upon the Rock! Once again I could see the light of day...the passage in Galatians coming into focus… Oh the Cross, oh the wonderful Cross ‘bids me come and die and find that I might truly live.” So with the Cross before me, I came, confessing my sin to Jesus, and He delivered me from it in that moment! I was free!  The oppression was gone!  You may ask, “Can it really be that simple?” Yes, it really is that simple! That doesn’t mean I won’t be tempted again or even possibly fall into the same snare, but hopefully, the next time, I’ll be wiser, recognize the sin sooner and should I wander, get myself back to the cross faster. Like I said, simple…but not easy…the hardest part is always going to be recognizing the sin in all its many trappings and forms...but then that really is what this blog is all about…

All for Jesus,
Sheila